5 Lessons And Realizations I Made This Week

My answers to the most important question I periodically reflect on.

You can read this full post on Twitter as well.

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Every Saturday morning, I reflect on the last week over a nice double espresso.

And the most important question I ask:

What were my 5 biggest lessons & realizations?

Here’s my list for the week:

1. During times of emotional transition, it’s easy to default to excessive “soothing” behaviors. So rather than fight them, give yourself some intentional time for them

Comfort food, alcohol, doomscrolling, reality TV, gossiping—whatever your “vice” of choice will become much more tempting during times of discomfort.

And for the last 30 days since my dad’s passing, I’ve felt the full force of this reality.

For most people (myself included), the cycle goes like this: Engage in those behaviors without awareness, then beat yourself up for it later, then repeat the cycle on and on and on.

And without noticing, this cycle can compound for days, weeks, months, and even years.

Luckily, you can break this cycle in two ways:

a) Avoiding them entirely. But this is putting a lot of confidence in your willpower, which I personally know better than to do, especially during emotional times.

b) Give yourself time to engage in the intentionally. This prevents them from bleeding over into other parts of your day, but still gives you the little bit of emotional soothing you might actually benefit from.

I’m not perfect with this by any means.

But I find this framework helpful to fall back on when I’m not operating at my best (to mitigate any lasting negative impact).

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2. You are always a 5 AM wake-up and 90 minutes of reflection away from getting back on track

I got back from the west coast this week with a bit of jet lag, more than I expected.

And that led to a string of days sleeping in for a couple of hours later than normal, which meant I lost most of my quiet focus time.

And it’s so apparent how this one small habit sets the tone for the rest of my day.

Without that small block of morning quiet, I find myself playing defense from the jump, which spills into the afternoon & evening.

And just like the cycle from the first lesson, this too can repeat for multiple days, weeks, or months if you let it.

But this morning I broke the cycle, popped out of bed at 5 AM, and immediately started writing.

A few hours later, I’m writing this reflection from a place of calm clarity.

All of the “junk” is out of my head and poured onto the page. And I can feel the momentum starting to rebuild as this espresso kicks in.

Lesson learned for future trips: gut out the 5 AM wake-up on the first day to get back on track, even though every bone in your body will beg to sleep in.

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3. If you want to improve something, find a way to measure it daily

Life, business, money, fitness, relationships, whatever it is.

After reflecting on my last 5 years of progress, I can point everything back to mapping, measuring, and iterating something daily.

And as a reminder to myself, don’t overcomplicate this.

• Find a set of numbers you can track

• Make a spreadsheet and add them in

• Optimize what you’re doing on a daily basis to make that number go in the right direction

It’s cliché, but the power of 1% better every day is real.

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4. Attention is a power law—so mind your open loops.

This is, without a doubt, at least the 15th time I’ve written this lesson as part of my weekly reflection.

And hopefully, one of these times, it’s going to stick.

Giving something 100% of your attention versus 90% of your attention is not just 10% more effective—it’s *10 times* more.

And inverting this idea is just as powerful.

When you let something eat up a small percentage of your attention in the background, it’s taking up *way* more than just that small percentage.

And that happened in a big way for me this week. I have some international travel coming up, which means tons of open loops and moving parts. Flights, hotels, reservations, people to reach out to, preferences to coordinate—it’s always way more than I expect. And I could *feel* those unmade decisions looming in the background as I tried to work this week, which made my working time less effective than I know it could be.

So, to prevent this, I’ve started keeping an “open loops” list.

It’s one list of every seemingly small, unmade decision or task I know needs to get done in the future but I can’t check off just yet. Errands, travel plans, upcoming events, people to get back to, etc.

Just seeing all of those loops in one list “closes” them for the time being in the short term.

From here, I plan on blocking an hour during different parts of the week to sprint through that list and close as many as I can, rather than letting them “leak” into all my other parts of the day.

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5. Rule for life: compare yourself only to 1) the person you were two years ago and 2) the person you could be in two years

Another cliché but truthful quote: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

If I’ve learned anything over my last few years of personal growth, it’s there will *always* be someone you could compare yourself to who is:

a) Doing something better than you

b) Further along in the journey than you

And from what I can see, this scenario never goes away.

Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk, two of the most “successful” people on Earth by many metrics, are still comparing themselves to one another (and likely feeling inadequate as a result).

To prevent this feeling from happening to me, I’ve made it a habit to catch myself whenever I compare myself to someone else.

Instead, I’m focused on playing my own video game, rather than someone else’s.

And this creates 3 feelings for me:

a) A feeling of confidence when I compare myself to where I was a few years ago, given I can find tangible areas I have improved

b) A feeling of frustration given I know I have the potential for more (and future me is looking back at all the things I’m doing incorrectly right now)

c) A feeling of motivation knowing I can continue to play this game of personal comparison and improvement for my entire life

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That's it for this week.

If any of these lessons or realizations resonated with you, hit reply to this email and let me know.

I'm going to experiment with writing these and sharing them publicly on a weekly basis.

And I think it would be cool to build a small community where everyone reflects and shares their list from the week as well.

If you'd be interested in that, hit reply and let me know as well.

And lastly, if you enjoyed these lessons, you can support them on Twitter as well.

Have a great weekend 🫡